Two scenarios during which one takes to blogging:
A. Feeling restless and agitated- knowing the cause!
In this case, there is usually a single thought or a group of theme-based thoughts that take credit.
It typically starts with these thoughts translating into a murmur, the repetitive-nagging kinds that escalates to deafening screams. In a short passage of time, one bears witness to the inherent violent nature of these restless thoughts that kick your insides, beat the hell out of any form of resistance; to make their way to ‘The top of Priority List’ and thus, out of your system.
Losing the ability to focus or concentrate, when one finds it impossible to engage in anything worthwhile is when one feels compelled to disconnect with every other sense and put all energies in giving those thoughts a respectable veil of words.
While such times are intense and emotive, they are also fewer in number.
B. Feeling restless and agitated- NOT knowing the cause!
In complete contrast, it usually begins with guilt. Of not writing enough or not balancing work and play or just being plain lazy. Which is why, it starts with sitting with a blank screen/page, looking for a stimulus, that one inspiration that opens the flood gates of creativity.
And usually ends up following a predictable pattern where one writes-cuts-doodles-writes-takes a break-judge their own juvenile writing skills-cut in frustration-slam the laptop/notepad shut- breathe deep and start all over again.
One can feel a dormant inspiration lying in some corner of the head that refuses to surface. Because while there is always something to share, a new experience, a unique observation or a strong emotion, but not all thoughts are similarly alive and kicking, some prefer to stay shy or love to play tease! And they do a good job of hiding in the deep recesses of mind, expecting to be fished out…
Yes, its a tedious, long drawn process of mindlessly scribbling each disconnected thought, calling out every mind game and vomiting just about everything till one empties to a point that THAT ONE thought shows itself.
And when that happens, all hell breaks loose! Suddenly, as if on cue, one sits straighter and begins writing purposefully. The energy with which the tsunami of thought(s) hits is immense and hard to control. One struggles to keep up with their pace and finds themselves skipping words or leaving incomplete sentences.
In aftermath, the blog requires multiple rounds of edit. Some sentences seem unstructured, jumbled up and even chronologically disordered; but nothing compares to the light-headed, free-floating feeling on reading something that you created. And you take pride in all that it represents (with all its imperfections).
Putting it out for everyone to read is like exposing your child to the ways of world, to easy criticism and difficult-to-come-by praise 🙂