I felt it today again. Surrounded by piles of work and staring at a little black book, as if struck by lightning; a plexus of nervous tingling originated from the pit of my stomach and reached out to the ends of my extremities.
It has been my little secret since Forever..
Maybe it’s a part of growing up; I would often try to convince myself. It will fade away into memories and soon out of the memory-zone too, for it has no existence in the real world. But look at it.. As strong as ever!
Its sudden rhapsody captivates my senses, being engulfed into the explosion of energy wakes me up. Reminds me of being Alive.
What holds it to me? What keeps it from vanishing and leaving me alone in the empty abyss of the reality and routine-ness? From crumbling under the constant weight of monotony? At times when I feel the need of its presence, my conscience reluctantly allows a curious, restless mind to wander into the depths of the soul; searching for it. Frantically. Those moments or fractions of a moment which pass during this quest are invariably filled with a concoction of mixed feelings; where on one hand I hold onto hope of finding It and on the other, convinced that I’ve lost It and its been sucked into the whirlpool of complexities of an adult mind; no longer to be found in its true glory.
Well, what can I say, the Almighty has been generous to share Its spark with me at all those times, burning bright, infusing joy and child-like energy into my tired soul. Perhaps it is this dependence that keeps it alive. This game of hide and seek turns into a joyful experience because It has always won.
It is this spark that I like to keep aflame. It re-ignites my desires and dreams, filling me with positive strength to carry on and compels me to look within and re-discover myself. It is that little child which ensures I never grow-up ‘enough’
It is special. Indeed.